****TRIGGER WARNING: PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION depictions of Sexual Themes relating in nonconsenting acts, victimshaming, self harm and suicide mentions****
Jan had fallen asleep in her bed and had been for a few hours.
She swapped from dream to dream it never seemed like they finished in one way or another, her mind seeming to jump from place to place. One dream would lead into the next at the turn of the head.
But the one to wake her was something frightful, absolutely frightening.
Jan seemed to wake at a party back down at earth, her appearance taking to younger self. her dark blonde hair left loose with dark red tips, upon noticing her younger do' she rushed into the bathroom of the large house.
Upon seeing herself at her current age, she cocked her head in confusion, she would run her fingers down the glass of the mirror and then along her upper arms. She was real? Sure felt like it, it only added to her confusion.
"D-Did I survive my attempt?? I've just been in a coma? Was the dream world just that?? A dream? This is so weird...how come I only come to now." She thought to herself and shook it off, but soon fell into her thoughts.
"I was sure that the cough syrup would kill me, it just doesn't make sen-" Her thoughts were interrupted by a melodic and cheerful voice.
"Janni!" A brown haired girl looked at her looking at her
"Hey Sabine." She replied to the shorter girl,peering across the bathroom, this place looked familiar
"Treading that old style again, eh Jan?" Sabine giggles getting on her tip toes and fuzzing up her hair.
"I guess so, Do you remember what happened for the past little while." She said still under the impression that she had...somehow survived drinking a whole bottle of cough syrup.
"You don't remember? Wow, that syrup really messed you up huh? Anyways! Me and Ezekiel got so worried about you and we had came to the consensus to call the police, and.." She stopped for a moment,holding back tears.
"..They found you barely breathing and the medics said you had little chance of pulling through, but they pumped your stomach and kept you alive and eventually you came through." She said, taking a breath.
Jan felt terrible she had done this to her friend and god only knows how Nate and Rebecca had reacted...her thoughts broken by her friends voice.
"You gave us the biggest scare! But were so glad you survived January." She said grabbing her friends arm.
"What went on til' this point I don't really remember anything past discharge." She said lying but kinda made presumptions of what happened, psyche ward stay, answering questionnaires and getting diagnosed with PTSD and Depression most likely.
"Well, you went into rehab to see what was damaged if anything, then you went on Paxil then Prozac then Lexapro which seems to help you now, we finished school." She said
"We came to party to finally have some fun, but you seemed to tread some ground from the past haha." She said turning around to walk out.
"Come on let's have some fun and have a few drinks." She smiled looking back at Jan.
"I'm coming." Jan smiled looking around, she couldn't place where she was, but shrugged it off.
Jan looked around the room the found Rebecca and waved.
"Jan!" She called and pulled her into a hug.
"Great to see you here!" Rebecca said looking back at Jan.
"Have you seen Zeke and Nate?" Jan asked her friend.
"Yeah, I have I last saw Zeke talking to some "hotties" that never turns out well and Nate was talking to the host." She said sipping her soda.
"Who's house is this?" She said smiling
"Andrews...I think." She said
Jan's heart dropped into the bottom of her stomach, she immediately felt sick and shook her head, Andrew was buddy buddy with her attacker Max, she prayed he wasn't here
"Jan, You OK?" Rebecca asked.
She took a deep breath, and nodded, walking away from Rebecca absentmindedly.
She would enjoy the party, talked to lots of people and ate quite a bit.
Upon walking with a cup of Jungle Juice and talking to Zeke, and laughing, she'd bump into a larger man, spilling the boozy drink all over him and herself.
Her head shot up to see Max, suddenly her worse fears were realized.
"No! Not again..." She thought before hearing his voice
"Not gonna say sorry, Typical..." He said looking down and seeing Jan
"Oh, Good to see you again Jan." He smiled then looked to Zeke, then simply walked away.
Zeke looked to Jan and saw her visibly shaken, and pulled her into a hug. "Its OK Janni my dear ~ just try and have fun." He said smiling, then walking away being distracted.
She would slowly forget about it and soon felt herself have fun again.
It'd be winding down for a little bit as food was growing scarce,so she would walk up to the bathroom to check on her makeup and run her fingers through her hair,unaware of being followed.
As soon as she bounded the corner he pounced, grabbing the tiny girl by the torso and covering her mouth, pulling her into bedroom and throwing her onto the bed, forcing her underneath him.
Her heart was racing out of her chest and Her mind was going a hundred miles per hour, her throat tightening and her eyes brimming with tears.
He chuckled forcing his hand up her shirt and felt her bra underneath, before licking up her neck.
"Tell me Jan, you went from popular to the school tramp ~ how'd you manage that?" He knew full well that it was all his doing but he needed to hear the pain her voice, by going down memory lane.
"...You know what you did." She said in a moment of adrenaline, the pain not present in her voice.
He grabbed her again and sat her on his lap and began whispering into her ear.
"You're not very chatty with me...come on I know you're a social butterfly." He said groping her chest again.
"Well fuck off Max." She said losing the adrenaline and sounding scared.
"So lonely aren't you Jan." He chuckled, running his hands up her chest and stomach
"No...no I'm not." She said shaking her head, trying to get up but only to have max pull her back into his lap.
"Jan, do what I say or simply put I'll ruin you again." He said rubbing her back and gave her a sinister smile.
She cooperated with Max and sat on his lap,refusing to look him in the eye
"If you weren't so lonely then why try to end your lovely life January?" He taunted, he knew that she never did like people besides her friends and family using her full name
"It was cause of you, you made me out to be a whore, and I wasn't, I'm still a virgin." She muttered and hid her face trying not to cry.
He pulled up the girls sleeves and smirked,seeing the scars from her self harming.
"What are those!? You didn't really cut yourself did you!? You're so pathetic! No wonder you're so useless. Totally a bad lay." He smirked.
"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW!? I NEVER HAD SEX WITH YOU..." She yelled then calming herself down. "Why did you lie to everyone about what happened...why did no one believe me and Sabine..." She said on the brink of crying.
He was pleased with how this was going, she was putty in her hands.
"To prop myself up, you were the few virgins worth deflowering, and your social status would prove helpful to me,I had to brag about how much of a slut you were, and you were a freak in bed, hehe." He said grabbing her chin and bringing it closer to his mouth, then pulled away, returning his hand on her upper thigh. "And there's nothing you can do~ you've fallen from grace and you'll be the little slut who called rape.." He said licking his lips. "A silly slut who didn't like where the sex is going." He snickered
Jan held her head down, feeling just as useless to stop the destruction the first time, she didn't respond to him, her eyes fixated on her shoes, listening to the torture that he was spewing.
She couldn't hold it back anymore and started crying, She was at the end of this discussion, she looked around and sighed.
"Why are you doing this..." Jan said looking down defeated.
"I wanted to break you again, before i finish you off, you're annoying friend stopped me." He smiled.
She felt fear wash over her body and she, without thinking stood up and began walking off,almost running catching Max off guard for a moment before grabbing her and pulling her back.
Jan looked up at him and cried out "Don't hurt me!"
He chuckled "Don't worry...It'll be Okay." He said pushing her down on the bed and followed suit, unbuckling his belt...
Jan sprang up from her bed to see the dream world again and sighed, starting to sob loudly bringing all her stuffed animals to her chest.
"It's....Just a dream, thank god." She said inbetween sobs and the falling of her fresh warm tears.
Jan's body would relax after awhile as her body memory and trigger would fade.
and pretty soon, would begin her day.